The following are a list of annoying things people ask me or say to me close to 10 times a day. Many of them are very, very polite and resonable questions. In fact - perhaps many of YOU have asked me these very things. Please do not feel bad if so. Because I am hormonal and crazy I am going to vent and tell you today that I find them all very annoying...(nothing personal)
Can you wear that outfit AFTER you are pregnant?
STOP asking me this. Would you like me to ask you if you plan to fit into your clothes 4 months from now or will you be too fat and gross to? It's possible I will go back to my smaller size. It's possible I will wear pregnant clothes the rest of my life. Feel free to check back in with me at a later date.
Why can't you eat _____ (fill in the blank) - stinky cheese, tuna, etc.
I'm asking you honestly. Do you REALLY care? Like you want a full page fact sheet about what is in each and every frickin' thing I can't eat? Really? Who has time for this???
Are you still working currently?
No. I decided since I am 6 months pregnant that I'd take the next 3 months off before my due date. For fun. YES I AM WORKING! In fact I am a stress case trying to manage 70 projects and oh yeah...creating a human while I'm at it. Sigh.
Do you plan to use cloth diapers?
Hi. Last I checked it's the year 2007 and I still shave my armpits and don't wear Patchouli oil. I'm all for saving the enviornment but in my case it will not be one diaper at a time.
Wow! You don't even look pregnant. I just thought you were...you know...a bigger kind of person
No comment.
(At party of hipsters) Wow...you are like...the only pregnant person here
Really. I hadn't noticed. Thanks for pointing it out to make me feel 'right at home'. Nor did I notice the fact EVERYONE IS HAPPY AND DRINKING AND LAUGHING and I am sipping a seltzer in the corner stone cold sober wearing my one 'party shirt'. Sigh. I am also sitting down.
Wow. It must suck not to drink.
Well yes considering I have to make small talk with you.
Do you have names picked out?
No. We've decided on a symbol instead.
Still holding to her fluxus approach to peace and love, still able to clear a room.
Mistakenly placed at the small stage with the fencing boundaries and lousy audio.
pop + reverb + (0.5 * Ben Folds) - cheese.
Curiously reminiscent of several moments on the 'White Album'.
Missed all but last two minutes of what looked to have been a swell bigband set.
Shortstrap jazz guitar + electro laptopage into polyrhythm.
Providence.
Far tighter than when I saw Wu Tang last - like 10 years ago.
